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Date my friend's best friend?

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  • DaExodus's Avatar
    26 posts since Jul '03
    • I need a compass to point me to the right direction.

      I like this girl for over 4 years now, wait let me rephrase, not like but love.

      But good things between me and her just isnt happening after me kept on trying for so many years now. She is in another relationship (god, i hate that undeserving guy but another story another day.) and day in day out i am just sitting around my room, going to work and practically doing nothing but pinning on her. I hate this life, (its been a year since I last went out 1 on 1 with another girl)

      I have talked to her in the past, several times, we both agreed that we wouldnt be tgt anytime sooner and she treats me as a best friend.

      We work together almost everyday and we have lunch together almost everyday too. Recently for the past 2 months of so, her best friend joined us for lunch too and day after day I get to know her best friend too. Just a month ago,she told me her best friend is recently single and asked me to consider dating her best friend which I shurgged it off but then after she mention it several time and I have this itchy feeling inside me.

      But, date the best friend of the friend you love? It sounds weird to me...I don't know what to do, what's the first step to do if i were to pursue it., I cant ask my best friend to give me her best friend number or email address right? maybe I can but i'm afraid of being embarassed.

  • Rednano's Avatar
    2,428 posts since May '08
  • Detached's Avatar
    4,665 posts since Sep '04
  • DaExodus's Avatar
    26 posts since Jul '03
    • Ty for ur input.

      Yeah I thought about your keyword way before I decided to post it.

      But hey, it doesnt boil down to being convenient..

      Her best friend is a very nice girl and I would be a bastard to date her because it is convenient to do so..

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    4,321 posts since Apr '07
  • Karma88's Avatar
    1,070 posts since Mar '08
    • U need a COMPASS to POINT you to the right direction ?

      Pls go talk a walk around compass point .

  • Detached's Avatar
    4,665 posts since Sep '04
    • Originally posted by DaExodus:

      Ty for ur input.

      Yeah I thought about your keyword way before I decided to post it.

      But hey, it doesnt boil down to being convenient..

      Her best friend is a very nice girl and I would be a bastard to date her because it is convenient to do so..


      If you're certain she's not a convenience, then go for it.

      All is fair in love and war, don't worry about whatever embarrassment icon_biggrin.gif

      How about another keyword for you?

      Ask.

  • Short Ninja's Avatar
    5,025 posts since Jan '07
  • RedizAlertz's Avatar
    1,068 posts since Aug '07
    • Originally posted by DaExodus:

      I need a compass to point me to the right direction.

      I like this girl for over 4 years now, wait let me rephrase, not like but love.

      But good things between me and her just isnt happening after me kept on trying for so many years now. She is in another relationship (god, i hate that undeserving guy but another story another day.) and day in day out i am just sitting around my room, going to work and practically doing nothing but pinning on her. I hate this life, (its been a year since I last went out 1 on 1 with another girl)

      I have talked to her in the past, several times, we both agreed that we wouldnt be tgt anytime sooner and she treats me as a best friend.

      We work together almost everyday and we have lunch together almost everyday too. Recently for the past 2 months of so, her best friend joined us for lunch too and day after day I get to know her best friend too. Just a month ago,she told me her best friend is recently single and asked me to consider dating her best friend which I shurgged it off but then after she mention it several time and I have this itchy feeling inside me.

      But, date the best friend of the friend you love? It sounds weird to me...I don't know what to do, what's the first step to do if i were to pursue it., I cant ask my best friend to give me her best friend number or email address right? maybe I can but i'm afraid of being embarassed.

      So wat do u want now?  Continue waiting for this best fren of urs or tryin out dating tis new gal.  C'mon, dating is perfectly fine~! The purpose of dating is to let both parties tryin out & testin their chemistry.  If it works, congrats.  At least it may keep ur mind away from ur best fren.  If it's not happening, then back to square one. 

      The purpose of ur best fren tryin so hard to "promote" her best fren to u is bcos she doesnt wanna see u being single & keep "waiting" for her.  It's probably stressing her out.  Since she is encouragin u to give it a try, then I see there's nothing wrong with askin her for her best fren's contact.  Or u can simply get her to arrange a group outing & create a situation for u & her best fren, then u can get her contacts urself.

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,496 posts since Mar '05
    • She's testing you.

       

      Once you say ok to dating her best friend, she will ask you wtf happened to your undying love for her?

       

      Men.

       

      So easily suckered. icon_lol.gif

  • kiseki's Avatar
    4,025 posts since Feb '07
    • Originally posted by charlize:

      She's testing you.

       

      Once you say ok to dating her best friend, she will ask you wtf happened to your undying love for her?

       

      Men.

       

      So easily suckered. icon_lol.gif


      x2.

  • Hanagata's Avatar
    2,086 posts since Apr '03
  • is giving away...
    wonderamazement's Avatar
    12,853 posts since Dec '04
    • Originally posted by Karma88:

      U need a COMPASS to POINT you to the right direction ?

      Pls go talk a walk around compass point .

      icon_rolleyes.gif

  • RedizAlertz's Avatar
    1,068 posts since Aug '07
    • Who cares abt watever trap it's goin to have?  Remember tat she's attached & he's not? 

      So wat if he has the "undying love"?  It's not goin to be reciprocated, so why waste his time vowing to love & wait for her forever? 

       

      No true love deserves to be put on tests.

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,496 posts since Mar '05
    • Originally posted by RedizAlertz:

      Who cares abt watever trap it's goin to have?  Remember tat she's attached & he's not? 

      So wat if he has the "undying love"?  It's not goin to be reciprocated, so why waste his time vowing to love & wait for her forever? 

       

      No true love deserves to be put on tests.

      Maybe the girl would have snapped him up once he had passed this test.

       

      Maybe.

       

      Just maybe. icon_lol.gif

  • RedizAlertz's Avatar
    1,068 posts since Aug '07
    • Originally posted by charlize:

      Maybe the girl would have snapped him up once he had passed this test.

       

      Maybe.

       

      Just maybe. icon_lol.gif

      icon_lol.gif .. ..

      U must be watchin too much dramas??

  • charlize's Avatar
    8,496 posts since Mar '05
    • Originally posted by RedizAlertz:

      icon_lol.gif .. ..

      U must be watchin too much dramas??

       Damn Japanese/Korean/Taiwanese drama series.

       

      Lies.

       

      All lies.

       

      Ptui. icon_lol.gif

  • timidtigress's Avatar
    16 posts since Sep '08
    • maybe if you go for it, your friend will realise that you're no longer there for her, feels her loss & suddenly comes running into ur arms. but then, like i said, maybe only.

  • RedizAlertz's Avatar
    1,068 posts since Aug '07
    • Originally posted by timidtigress:

      maybe if you go for it, your friend will realise that you're no longer there for her, feels her loss & suddenly comes running into ur arms. but then, like i said, maybe only.


      *Slap forehead*

      Why is ur response the same as above??  Wat damages have the effects of those dramas done to u pple??  icon_confused.gif

  • novelltie's Avatar
    249 posts since Jul '08
    • Originally posted by RedizAlertz:

      So wat do u want now?  Continue waiting for this best fren of urs or tryin out dating tis new gal.  C'mon, dating is perfectly fine~! The purpose of dating is to let both parties tryin out & testin their chemistry.  If it works, congrats.  At least it may keep ur mind away from ur best fren.  If it's not happening, then back to square one. 

      The purpose of ur best fren tryin so hard to "promote" her best fren to u is bcos she doesnt wanna see u being single & keep "waiting" for her.  It's probably stressing her out.  Since she is encouragin u to give it a try, then I see there's nothing wrong with askin her for her best fren's contact.  Or u can simply get her to arrange a group outing & create a situation for u & her best fren, then u can get her contacts urself.

      i agree with this sentence.

      since your love interest is "promoting" her best friend, it usually means she is okay for you to date her friend... or at least she thinks so. if she turns jealous and wants you instead, congratulations! if you and that friend turns out well, great! if both gals in the end wants you, bonus!

      since you and your best friend's relationship is good, just be frank and ask for the contact. email will be the best for it doesn't sound too "intimidating". start conversing from first; emails, second; sms, third; direct phone calls and then do meet-ups.

  • limpper's Avatar
    1,044 posts since Jun '08
  • justcantstop's Avatar
    34 posts since Apr '08
    • juz may i ask....

      how do u feel for all these 4 yrs ? ur situation sounds like mine haha. juz that for mine it juz passed the 1 yr mark. 1 yr is bad enough , 4 yrs sounds scary.

  • DaExodus's Avatar
    26 posts since Jul '03
    • Thx for the inputs peeps, appreciated.

      It is not a trap. Me and my best friend,we cannot be together.

      And yes, today I just got her email address! and I had a good chat with her.

      It was the best chat with a girl I ever had in a long while. I feel so rejuvenated! It is not those "sian1/2" replies which I get from my best friend but real actual conversation. And "justcantstop", 4 yrs, I think my time and energy spent on my best friend made me neglect the good things in life that I could have.

       

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    4,321 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by DaExodus:

      Thx for the inputs peeps, appreciated.

      It is not a trap. Me and my best friend,we cannot be together.

      And yes, today I just got her email address! and I had a good chat with her.

      It was the best chat with a girl I ever had in a long while. I feel so rejuvenated! It is not those "sian1/2" replies which I get from my best friend but real actual conversation. And "justcantstop", 4 yrs, I think my time and energy spent on my best friend made me neglect the good things in life that I could have.

       

      Dude.. congrats to your success.

      Time to sweep her off her feet.

      Don't talk talk no action.

  • limpper's Avatar
    1,044 posts since Jun '08
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